Reset

Do you ever reach a point and find yourself hitting pause to look at the world around you, wondering how on earth time has flown so quickly and what younger you would think of where you are now?  I find myself doing that an extra heap these days as I get into a rhythm with this school year, my fifth school year living in Chengdu and calling China home.

Five years?!?!  Goodness gracious how can this be the start of five years in a part of the world that I never intended to do more than visit.

Five years.

That's one sixth of my life.

That's three years longer than I lived in Kenya.

Or 2 years longer than I lived full-time in Ethiopia.

A year longer than I lived in Michigan.

A year longer than I lived in Rwanda.

Only two years less than the time I spent in Washington state between countries as a child.

And by the end of this contract, I will have lived here longer than I have lived anywhere.

And so, as this fifth year starts, I find myself wanting to go back to how I saw the world around me when I first arrived, taking pictures of every strange thing at Walmart, amazed by public transportation, and in awe of waking up every morning in a city that is larger than the State where I grew up.

I'm hoping that this year can be a reset.  Resetting any frustration that I find with my surroundings.  Resetting my abysmal language abilities and trying to learn again.  Resetting expectations on myself or the world around me.  Resetting opinions that were foraged in a season of stress.

Sometimes it's just time for a fresh start.

What triggered this line of thinking? Well, last night I went out to dinner with a dear friend and her parents and I found myself in awe.  We sat at a table on a crowded sidewalk where restaurants have taken over the walking space.  Around me, families and friends were reconnecting after a busy week on a holiday weekend.  They were laughing, drinking, eating, sitting back, and just enjoying each other.  On our way to meet another friend, we walked past neighborhood squabbles, street cleaners, fruit stands, and so many other pieces of life that are a beautiful part of this place that I have grown to love.

I realized that it's been a long time since I sat back and enjoyed watching life here happen.

And so, let the reset begin.

Always an Adventure

How is it that every time I blog it seems as though two (or three....:/) months has passed?  While there may be dull moments in this crazy adventure of a life that I live, they never seem to last long enough for me to get them written down.  I have a few minutes this morning (which is in itself a bit of a doozy of a story), so I thought it might be time to catch the world up on what has been happening since June when I last got on here and spilled.

The summer was spent in North America and it was wonderful.  There is something so beautiful about getting on a plane and going to a totally different part of the world, stepping back into a different life of mine.  Seeing friends and family, catching up on the last few years, and being able to share my heart and carry burdens for dear friends makes for precious times.  I won't go into detail on every twist and turn of my summer wanderings, but they were full (never more than a week at a time in one place) and memorable.  The highlights were wedding reunions, precious moments with both of my grandmothers, walking my cousin's daughters to the bus stop as they finished up Kindergarten, giggling with almost all of my cousins' daughters at some point in the summer, crying with friends (over the good and the not so good), and savoring moments over meals with people that I love and wish I could see on a more regular basis.  Loving people and places on multiple continents is oh so hard when you have to leave one to return to the other.

But return I did.  Coming back to Chengdu this time around was good and stressful, but oh so worth it.  My brother came for a week or so and was incredibly patient with me as I worked more than I should have to prepare for this new school year and job.  I wish I could have (or would have) dropped everything and done more with him while he was here, but I'm still so glad that he came and did life with for a bit.

Then school started.  Goodness gracious is it different to be out of the classroom and to have my main place in the building be behind a desk.  I'm learning to love what I do again, but it certainly is a different angle to approach it all from.  I'm sure that I'll have more stories at tales at some point, but for now I'll just say that I am content and learning a whole lot along the way.

This last week has been an adventure in itself as I've been able to pop over to another city in this fine country where I live and lend a helping hand to some friends.  Again, details will remain sparse here, but having the ability to drop everything and go is such an odd and marvelous position to be in.  Being the hands and feet, whenever and wherever possible, is such a beautiful part of being part of something so much bigger than ourselves.

And now, as I gear up to head home, I can't help but wonder what adventure is laying in wait around the next bend.  Oh boy...should be a good one...

Changing Seasons

Written back in August, incomplete, but still true...so it seems like it's time to get this posted...

Seasons of change are a tricky thing, aren't they?

I feel as though the last few months have been so overwhelmed by the change on the horizon that every conversation, plan, and thought was sent through a tainted lens.

At the end of the school year, the lens was one of lasts...last day as a homeroom teacher, last math lesson I taught, last exam to grade.  For some reason this was more bitter-sweet and difficult than I expected, and yet at the same time I didn't have nearly as much time to wallow in my mourning as I thought I would, which was of course a good thing.

Throughout the summer back in the US, the lens was one of uncertainty...knowing that I am where I'm supposed to be and yet not really knowing how to talk about it.  "What do you do?" How was I supposed to answer, "Well, for the last four years I've been teaching in China, but this fall I'm transitioning out of the classroom and into an office.  No, no, no, I love teaching...of course I'll miss the classroom...no I'm not trying to brag...of course I know it'll be hard...I know I'm young..." Half the time, I said I teach overseas, the other half I paused long enough to make the asker question my sanity.  Neither one was quite accurate (although both had a hint of truth mixed in).

And now, as the school year has begun, the extra lenses that I found myself looking through seem to be coming off and reality can settle back in at last.  Every day is an adventure and every experience is new, but I have confidence that it is all working together for good.