Today felt like the right day to get Christmas up in my apartment. It was my reward after a day of sorting and cleaning and getting rid of accumulated stuff/junk. (The lady who cleans my building was quite excited to see me getting off the elevator with so many things I didn't want/need.)
We all know that 2020 has been a year of the unexpected, of sorrow, of change. It's interesting when it hits me...when I remember just how different my plans and the reality of this year ended up being.
I was reminded of just how much has changed this afternoon when I opened up my box of Christmas decorations this afternoon. When I packed it in January, I was packing it in preparation for a big move. I carefully labelled the box with of the treasures that I wouldn't want to forget about or lose: my tree skirt that my mom hand quilted of Provençal fabrics, my Chengdu Christmas Starbucks mug, all of the ornaments that I've accumulated over the years. I wasn't supposed to open that box leading up to Christmas of 2020...I was supposed to be packing all of my things, heading on sabbatical, and preparing for whatever next had in store.
But here I am, in Chengdu, unpacking that box in the weeks before I was supposed to be tying a neat little bow on 8 and a half years in this city of mine.
Instead of finishing a semester in a temporary role between roles, I'm in the middle of a year in the job I had stepped away from.
Instead of preparing for a move, I've painted and upgraded and perked up this apartment of mine.
Instead of a sabbatical, I'm in the midst of a season where leaving China for any reason at all means not being able to return while the world goes through a global pandemic and our borders remain essentially closed.
Instead of plans, I'm paused. And that's okay...
As I sit in my living room, a Christmas-y candle lit and my twinkle lights and tree the only light in the room, I can't help but reflect on the many layers of grief and joy and unknowns that this year has held.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know He who holds my tomorrows. I can't wait to look back on this season and see what bigger story was being written.
