Independence

I’m a pretty independent woman.  Let’s face it: I wouldn’t be where I am now if I wasn’t.  There is no way that I could live life in China each day as a single without being independent.  It is a large part of my identity during this season of my life, and it honestly always has been and probably always will be.  After all, my first sentence was, “Papa, it’s my life.” I was doomed from the start!

As soon as I moved the Chengdu, I knew what one reflection of my independence would be: my scooter.  Within 5 days of landing in this fine city I had my very own two-wheeled death trap (at least, that’s what my dad calls it).   It didn’t go very fast and I never drove it very far, but it was mine.  Some people take long walks as an escape, but I drive.  Feeling the wind in my hair and the pollution in my eyes was a taste of freedom in a country where I didn’t understand language or culture.

Now, my scooter is a much smaller part of my life, but I still can’t imagine life without it.  I know some people who have lived in Chengdu for decades and have never ridden one, and they seem ok, but I couldn’t do it.  Just knowing that on a bad day I can get on and go is a comfort to me.   Knowing that independence is within my reach.

What do you have in your life that is a mark of your independence?  What is your release?  (I’m always looking for new ideas…especially when it’s raining!)

Day 1 with my scooter.  It was love at first ride!

The first (and last) time I ran out of battery and had to find a creative way to get home :)

It certainly makes taking boxes home from school easier!

The 2012-2013 CDIS scooter gang.  Those were the days!

Parting is such sad sorrow...

"Parting is such sad sorrow." I'm not sure who said it first, me or my cousin Aimee, but whoever did said it well. Parting is not sweet sorrow. It isn't sweet at all. It is sad. Very sad. Change is hard...good, but hard. And sad. Have I mentioned that already?

Why the somber post? Well, my roommate moved into her new apartment on Monday. She is going to be teaching at a school located at our old school campus next year, and as a result she needs to live back in the part of Chengdu where we used to live. Sadly, I need to stay in the part of Chengdu where we live now. As a result, we can't live together. Logical, but sad.

I've mentioned my roommate a few times on this blog, I'm sure, but I don't know if I've ever told you our story. Sarah and I are complete opposites. She is the yang to my yin. The quiet to my loud. The thinking to my verbal processing. If I am an extreme extrovert, she is the extreme introvert. And no one ever thought that us living together would work. It really shouldn't if you think about it. But it does.

Sarah gets me.  Our first few months were rocky as we adjusted to living together. I learned to think a bit more, she learned to talk a bit more. I love that, now, there is nothing better to end a stressful day than going home and decompressing about it over tea and something on hulu with my roommate. Whether its out and about in the city or a quiet evening in our neighborhood, there really is no one I'd rather spend time with here than her.  Sarah and I have become best friends over the course of our two years as roommates.

And now we're not roommates anymore.

I know, I get overly sentimental.  We will be living in the same city, and will see each other at least a few times a month, so we will still be close. But things will never be the same.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate change?

Sarah and I with our favorite Korean star in our elevator :)

Crazy Hair Day 2014

#thatsmyroommate

Location: Chengdu, China
Local Time (CST -- GMT+8): 5:44 p.m. (6/4/2014)
Auburn Time (PST -- GMT-7): 2:44 a.m. (6/4/2014)

Home

There's no place like home, right?  Well, that depends on what home is.  Is it where my parents live?  Where my brother is?  Where my 'home' church is?  Where I speak the language? Where I feel like I fit?  There doesn't seem to be any place that fits more than two of those criteria, so do I actually have a home?  Doubtful...very doubtful.

My concept of home has always been wobbly, at best.  That said, this is home now...at least for now.  China is home.  What an odd realization that is.  I'm not sure why, but a conversation that I had in the park seemed to seal the deal for me.  What conversation?  Well, I don't know if I can actually call it a conversation, per say...

An old lady walks by, we say hi, she says hi, and then she starts babbling on about something.  I say "Shenme?" (What?) and she tells me to come follow her.  She takes us back to a place on the path where we had just seen her put something in the grass.  Turns out that the something was a piece of candy, which is covered with hundreds of ants within two minutes.  She was so pleased with herself :)  She proceeded to start babbling away about the ants, guess my age (she was only two years off) and tell me all about how she's old (she made me guess...always a bit scary!).

Of course I only understand one in twenty words...but I understood.  I may not speak Chinese...not really, but I'm at the point where I can pick up what I need to and make due with what I know.


For me, that's what an earthly home is.  A place that you can follow the gist of, but not necessarily feel 100% comfortable.

Welcome to my world :)


Location: Chengdu, China 
Local Time (CST -- GMT+8): 9:47 p.m. (4/16/2014) 
Auburn Time (PST -- GMT-7): 6:47 a.m. (4/16/2014)

On Satisfaction and Singleness

I know I haven’t blogged in a while, so this post being my “back to the blog” attempt might not make a lot of sense, and I’m not looking for sympathy or reassurance…I just want to share something that is heavy on my heart today. Let me explain…

I'm single.  This is [hopefully] no surprise to any of you that know me.  I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to live in an amazing corner of the world, pouring my heart into the people around me and the students that enter my classroom each day.  I truly love what I do.  I know that I have been uniquely gifted with an immense passion for the students that I work with, and there isn’t always room for many others in my days as I attempt to become the best teacher and mentor to them that I can be.  There have been seasons in my life where I have been told that I need to stop thinking so much about my job, but I honestly can’t.  I love it so much.  I truly do.  I wouldn’t trade the opportunities that I have to make a difference in their lives for anything.  It is where I’m supposed to be.

That said, there is a part of me that aches for something different; that yearns to be a “normal” twenty-six year old girl.  What is “normal?” In most of my groups of friends, “normal” for now is getting married, having kids, and getting settled into a routine that will last for decades.  “Normal” is going over to mom and dad’s every weekend for Sunday lunch to share stories of running into friends from a few years back in the grocery store and hearing about all the comings and goings of grown-up life.

My “grown-up” life is so far from normal.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Really.

And then someone, I’m sure meaning to be an encouragement or to provide some shred of hope for that “normal” that everyone knows that everyone else must be longing for, goes and ruins it.

I love my students, and part of loving them means anticipating disaster and preventing injury.  Twice today I was told that, as a result of my stellar crowd-control-like skills at school, I’m going to make a marvelous mother.

Thanks.

How do you know that I’m going to be a great mother?  Have you seen some crystal ball into my future?  Did God sit you down for coffee and give you a vision of my life?  Because if He did, I’d love to see it.

Let’s talk reality here.

I might make a wonderful mother someday, but you don’t know that.  Even if I do some day meet the man of my dreams (Gilbert Blythe is still free, isn’t he?), my own children will not know the cool teacher that was commented on today.  Even if I met Mr. Right tomorrow, got married in a year, and immediately became a baby-making machine, by the time my kids are the age of my students I will be almost forty, with aching bones and weary eyes.  How do I know?  I don’t…but my aching joints and exhausted body can barely make it through an 8-hour day of teaching now.  I can’t imagine how I would have energy for that and a family of my own.  Sure, I love my friends’ and cousins’ kids.  I adore them more than anything on the planet, in fact.  Maybe that means I’ll make a great mom.  But you don’t know that.

When I moved to China, I accepted that singleness was going to be a reality for me for at least two years.  Now I'm staying for another contract, and possibly for decades more.  Singleness isn’t something that I fell asleep dreaming about as a child, but it is a reality for me now, and I am so extremely content with it.  Again, I know that I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing here and now if I had any other circumstances.

But that doesn't mean that your comments don’t tug at an aching part of my heart.

So friends, as you see the single men and women around you and think that little comment that you mean to be encouraging, please be mindful of their hearts.  Be mindful and consider that what you mean for encouragement might in fact be a painful reminder of a choice that they have made and of the cons to a calling that they are grateful to have followed.

And to my single friends out there, I understand your ache.  I feel your pain.  Know that you are not alone.

Location: Chengdu, China

Local Time (CST -- GMT+8): 9:16 p.m. (4/11/2014)
Auburn Time (PST -- GMT-7): 6:16 a.m. (4/11/2014)

This week in pictures

BBQed fish for a Thursday Thanskgiving dinner?  Why not :)

Apple pie is a bit more authentic!

 The difference between this morning and afternoon.  A clear day was such a blessing!!

 The Christmas tree in the lobby of our school.

Humbled

My students are amazing.  I've known that for a while, but every day there seems to be something that reminds me of their incredible gifts and abilities.  I should rephrase that: my students are amazing, but they still struggle.  I teach math, and math is one of those subjects that most kids have a love-hate relationship with.  Add being an English Language Learner to the mix of attitudes towards math, then a few story problems and a question involved US currency or measurement, and things get tough.  As a result, I often have students that pop into my room for extra help.

This afternoon, two of my most challenging and yet most loveable/loved students came in after school to do their homework so that I was close by if/when they needed some extra help.  Let's call them Suzy and Jack.  Suzy and Jack are in different grades and sat on extreme opposite corners of the room, but were singing/humming along to the Christmas songs I had playing as they worked and actually seemed to enjoy their math-filled afternoon.  They asked their questions and got their homework done, both frustrated by the problems that they struggled with.  I, as I try to always do, told them they were smart and not to let it bother them...the problems that grieve them aren't everything.

As the bell for the late bus rang and they began to pack up, Suzy asked Jack if he was in the intensive ELL program at our school.  Jack told her that he was and that learning English was soooo hard. (We do love the use of soooooo at our school!)  Suzy asked him what he though of English as his second language, and Jack non-nonchalantly replied, "Not my second....third."

Three language at the age of 13.  Three.  This kid is one that I have struggled with motivating this year, often more focused on the conversations he could be having more than anything else. Normal for middle school.  But those conversations are in his third language.

He asked me how many languages I spoke.  "Fluently?  Just one."  Telling him that he was smart earlier was most definitely an understatement.  (BTW, he laughed when I said just one and reminded me that we are all good at different things...aiy yai yai!)

"No, Miss Teusink.  I'm not a genius.  My father is.  He speaks five."

I'm humbled by the caliber of student that I have the opportunity to teach.  Humbled and honored.  If you ever want to bask in the presence of greatness sometime, come and sit in my classroom and get to know my students.  They will amaze you, I'm sure, as they amaze me more and more each day!

Teusink's Tuesday Tip of the Day

One of the traditions that I have with my 6th graders (both my homeroom and the other class of marvelous 6th graders that I teach for two subjects) is the Teusink Tuesday Tip of the Day. It's a way to bestow my rediculous amounts of wisdom upon them, one tidbit at a time. In all honesty, it's more about giving them a life-skill as far as socializing with the people around them are concerned. Today's tip was, "Don't be afraid to ask for help."

Middle school is a time in life when things can go terribly wrong. It might be as minor as a hairstyle (I have a student who hasn't taken his baseball cap off for a week because of a hair-cut gone wrong) or as major as issues with parents or other family members, but in the eyes of a 6th grader it all can be the end of the world. Life is hard. Friendship is hard. School is hard. It all can be hard, and we all sometimes need a bit of help. I'm feeling especially burdened today for my students that struggle, my students that have an extra ounce against them in the world. Whether it's because of issues I've been told about or just things that I've been observing, I'm seeing a lot of hurt in the people around me, young and old. Some of them are moving at the end of the semester. Some of them are carrying the burdens of their friends and don't know what to do or where to go for help. I'm so honored and humbled that some of them choose to come to me.

The view this morning wasn't spectacular, but it was beautiful (as it always is). Please join me in remembering those around us that are hurting. Let's offer them an extra ounce of love, maybe a hug, and whatever help we are capable of giving!

Happy Monday!

There are about a thousand things that I love about my job this year. I love my students, the content that I get to teach on a daily basis, and the people that I work with. I love interacting with people from around the world and figuring out the cultural differences that keep us guessing but keep it interesting at the same time. I also love my view. Hold on...love doesn't quite say it. I LOVE my view. LOVE it. Every morning it is different. Every day is unique.

In the interest of blogging more, I thought I'd share my view with you. I probably won't take a picture every day, but I do take a lot of pictures out my window. The great thing is, my students now tell me when it is a picture worth taking. I've trained them well! Each morning, they are in there before the bell rings while the sun is rising. This morning, about 10 of us were leaning on the windowsill enjoying the beauty of the horizon that was being painted before our eyes. What precious moments with some of my favorite pre-teens on the planet.

And so, here are today's photos of my glorious view. Enjoy!

Remembering...

I'm often left speechless by the memories that a single happenstance can bring with it.  In a heartbeat, your transported to a different time and place.  Sometimes that transport brings with it tears, sometimes laughter, maybe fear, maybe joy...it's amazing what that heartbeat carries.  At the moment, I'm blissfully remembering a little over 18 months ago going to a movie with friends.  I had seen it already, but liked it enough to go back.  That doesn't happen often.  Now, seeing the sequel, I find myself wishing I could go back and enjoy it again with those friends at that time in that place.  You can't step in the same river twice, though, so here I am.

Where am I at the moment? Well, I'm in the river that is my time in China, enjoy the ripples and the waves, the sunsets and the smog.  It has been a busy fall.  If you usually receive my newsletter, you've likely been wondering if I removed you from my list.  Never fear, you're still on it...you just haven't received anything lately because nothing has been written.  I've started/updated/tweaked the August one a hundred times.  Then it became September...then October...and now November.  This school year has hit me hard and heavy, and I find myself struggling to do what I need to do, let alone the extras that I want to do.

What have I been doing?  Well, I'm teaching full-time at the 6th and 7th grade level, leading a small group for some of the coolest middle school girls in the world, working on my final masters portfolio projects and the 9th of 10 classes that stand between me and being referred to as Master Teusink (that's how it works, isn't it), and making decisions.  Every day is filled with decisions.  What to eat? Where to go? Where to stay? What to wear?  Oh it's a hassle, to be sure.  Thankfully, I've made one of the bigger decisions that has been plauging me, so one less thing to stress about.

Since summarizing the last few months with words would take far too long, here's a quick look at some pictures that might do the trick.

 

The view from my new classroom is breathtaking some mornings!

There are some mornings where the smog takes over, though.

For Book Character Day this year, I went as a giant cup of coffee.  I couldn't resist :)

I do, after all, drink Starbucks even with the most Chinese of meals!

 It is definitely turning from fall to winter in Chengdu.

Our favorite leaves are beginning to drift to the ground, but they are still beautiful!

As always, feel free to leave a comment to let me know how you are!  If you'd like to email me, leave your email address in the comment and I'll get back to you asap.  Comments are monitored and if you leave personal information I'll delete it, so no stress there!
 

Location: Chengdu, China
Local Time (CST -- GMT+8): 7:49 p.m. (11/24/2013)
Auburn Time (PST -- GMT-8): 3:49 a.m. (11/24/2013)

Parting is Such Sad Sorrow

June is when goodbyes are supposed to happen in the expat community.  June is when school gets out, people move, and people like me shed a whole lot of tears.  June.  June is when people leave.  I can prepare myself for Junes.  The problem is when June events take place at another time of year.  I am a well-trained saying goodbye machine when it comes to Junes, but when people leave in, say, October, I just can't take it.  The sadness doesn't fit October.  October is supposed to be the time for candy corn and Christmas music (I make my own combos, k!), not tears and see-you-laters.

You are probably wondering what is causing this confusing, out of sync issue in my life.  Well, a good friend (and amazing co-worker) is leaving on Tuesday.  She's moving back to the world of English customer service centers and 24 hour Taco Bells.  She's leaving us and going there, and it's good that she's going.  It's the right time for her to leave.  But it's not June, so it's not the right time to say goodbye.  The world of a TCK is a world of incredible hellos and heart-breaking goodbyes.  I'm so glad that I got to say hello to my dear friend, but that doesn't make the goodbye any easier.

These are the things that keep me up at night.  Oh the joys :/




Location: Chengdu, China

Local Time (CST -- GMT+8): 9:35 p.m. (10/21/2013)
Auburn Time (PST -- GMT-7): 6:35 a.m. (10/21/2013)