Written back in August, incomplete, but still true...so it seems like it's time to get this posted...
Seasons of change are a tricky thing, aren't they?
I feel as though the last few months have been so overwhelmed by the change on the horizon that every conversation, plan, and thought was sent through a tainted lens.
At the end of the school year, the lens was one of lasts...last day as a homeroom teacher, last math lesson I taught, last exam to grade. For some reason this was more bitter-sweet and difficult than I expected, and yet at the same time I didn't have nearly as much time to wallow in my mourning as I thought I would, which was of course a good thing.
Throughout the summer back in the US, the lens was one of uncertainty...knowing that I am where I'm supposed to be and yet not really knowing how to talk about it. "What do you do?" How was I supposed to answer, "Well, for the last four years I've been teaching in China, but this fall I'm transitioning out of the classroom and into an office. No, no, no, I love teaching...of course I'll miss the classroom...no I'm not trying to brag...of course I know it'll be hard...I know I'm young..." Half the time, I said I teach overseas, the other half I paused long enough to make the asker question my sanity. Neither one was quite accurate (although both had a hint of truth mixed in).
And now, as the school year has begun, the extra lenses that I found myself looking through seem to be coming off and reality can settle back in at last. Every day is an adventure and every experience is new, but I have confidence that it is all working together for good.
Seasons of change are a tricky thing, aren't they?
I feel as though the last few months have been so overwhelmed by the change on the horizon that every conversation, plan, and thought was sent through a tainted lens.
At the end of the school year, the lens was one of lasts...last day as a homeroom teacher, last math lesson I taught, last exam to grade. For some reason this was more bitter-sweet and difficult than I expected, and yet at the same time I didn't have nearly as much time to wallow in my mourning as I thought I would, which was of course a good thing.
Throughout the summer back in the US, the lens was one of uncertainty...knowing that I am where I'm supposed to be and yet not really knowing how to talk about it. "What do you do?" How was I supposed to answer, "Well, for the last four years I've been teaching in China, but this fall I'm transitioning out of the classroom and into an office. No, no, no, I love teaching...of course I'll miss the classroom...no I'm not trying to brag...of course I know it'll be hard...I know I'm young..." Half the time, I said I teach overseas, the other half I paused long enough to make the asker question my sanity. Neither one was quite accurate (although both had a hint of truth mixed in).
And now, as the school year has begun, the extra lenses that I found myself looking through seem to be coming off and reality can settle back in at last. Every day is an adventure and every experience is new, but I have confidence that it is all working together for good.
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